Why we need to rethink our assumptions about communication
In today’s fast-paced world, the ability to quickly make phone calls or respond to texts is often seen as essential. But for neurodivergent individuals, the way we process and engage with communication can look different. As someone who has been diagnosed with ADHD later in life, I’ve come to recognize that my preference for written communication over phone calls isn’t about being less accessible; it’s about managing how I function best and how I can be the most present and effective for my clients and colleagues.
Understanding the Challenge with Phone Calls
For neurodivergent people, phone calls can present unique challenges. The immediacy of a phone conversation can be overwhelming for several reasons:
Processing Time: Phone calls require real-time processing, which can be difficult when the brain needs a moment to catch up with what is being said, how it’s being said, and how to respond. It often feels like everything is happening at once without the opportunity to fully consider your thoughts before replying.
Sensory Overload: Many neurodivergent individuals experience sensory sensitivity, which can make the auditory component of phone calls more challenging. Background noise, a lack of visual cues, or unpredictable shifts in tone can be hard to manage.
Anxiety and Pressure: The urgency to respond immediately in phone calls can create a heightened sense of pressure. Unlike written communication, where there’s time to think, reflect, and revise, phone conversations don’t afford the same luxury, leading to anxiety or even avoidance.
Why Written Communication Can Be Ideal
Emails, texts, and other forms of written communication are often preferred by neurodivergent individuals because they allow for control over how and when you respond. Here’s why this works better for many:
Time to Process: Written communication provides the opportunity to process information on your own terms. You can take the time to read through a message, consider it, and craft a response without the pressure of real-time interaction.
Reduced Sensory Overload: Without the need to focus on auditory input or tone interpretation, written communication is less overwhelming. You can engage with it in a more manageable way, focusing on the content rather than the delivery.
Clarity and Thoughtfulness: In written form, it’s easier to organize your thoughts and respond in a clear, concise manner. For many neurodivergent individuals, this structure is key to effective communication, ensuring nothing is missed or misunderstood.
How to Communicate Your Preferences Professionally
It’s not uncommon to feel hesitant about explaining your communication preferences to others, especially in professional settings. However, it’s possible to do so in a clear and respectful manner. Here’s an example of how I frame it in my practice:
“I find that written communication allows me to provide more thoughtful and detailed responses. While I appreciate your call, I prefer emails to ensure I can respond effectively. Thank you for your understanding.”
This type of explanation not only validates your own needs but also reassures the other person that you will respond, just in a way that works best for you.
Final Thoughts
Embracing and communicating your preferences is not only a form of self-care but also a way to optimize your effectiveness in both personal and professional relationships. As neurodivergent individuals, we can thrive when we honor how we best process and engage with the world. By advocating for the communication methods that work for us, we’re not only ensuring that we can show up fully in our interactions with others, but destigmatizing how others feel in communicating their own preferences.
For those who may find written communication to be their strongest suit, it’s important to own that preference and express it in a way that feels both authentic and professional.
