What Even Are Values—and Why Do They Matter?
Let’s be honest: the word values can feel a little… corporate retreat-y. Like someone’s about to hand you a laminated worksheet titled “Core Beliefs” while making too much eye contact. But stick with me. Because understanding your values isn’t just for motivational posters—it’s actually one of the best tools you have for building a life that feels meaningful, aligned, and less like a constant identity crisis.
So, What Are Values Anyway?
Values are the things that matter most to you. Not your parents. Not your boss. Not Instagram. You. They’re the inner compass guiding the kind of life you want to live and how you want to show up in the world.
They're not goals (like "run a marathon" or "drink 64 oz. of water a day"). Goals are things you achieve. Values are ongoing—like a direction you keep moving toward. You don’t check off honesty or creativity or connection. You live them. And you probably feel kind of icky or off when you’re not.
How Do I Figure Out My Values Without Spiraling Into an Existential Crisis?
Great question. Here are a few ways to explore your values without needing to journal for six hours or move to the woods:
Think about the people you admire. What is it about them you respect? Are they bold? Kind? Do they live authentically, even if it's not always easy? Those clues can point to your own values.
Notice your emotional reactions. When do you feel most energized, proud, or like, “Yes, this is so me”? That’s often a values-aligned moment. Conversely, if you feel drained, resentful, or like you're living in a weird episode of Black Mirror, something might be out of sync.
Try a “Perfect Tuesday” exercise. Picture a day that would feel satisfying—not flashy or idealized, just good. Who’s there? What are you doing? How do you feel? Often, the vibe of that day reveals your values more than any quiz can.
Cool, I Know My Values—Now What?
Knowing your values is only half the magic. Living in alignment with them is where the change happens. And no, this doesn’t require a full personality overhaul. Small, intentional choices can shift things.
For example, if you value connection, maybe you call a friend instead of doomscrolling. If you value creativity, you might doodle on your receipts or make oddly satisfying playlists instead of waiting for the perfect “creative project.”
It’s not about being perfect (gross) or always making the “right” choice. It’s about checking in and saying, “Does this thing I’m doing fit with the kind of person I want to be?”
One Last Thing—You’re Allowed to Change
Your values may shift over time, and that’s normal. What mattered most to you at 22 might feel irrelevant at 34. Or you might discover that a value you thought was yours was just really loud people-pleasing in disguise. Give yourself permission to evolve.
Bottom line? Living by your values doesn’t mean life gets easier—it means it gets truer. And that’s worth a lot more than a laminated worksheet.
