Audrey Keeton, LCSW-The Coastal Counselor

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Why we get stuck

Why We Get Stuck

Most likely, you have heard the quote “insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.” Stagnation can feel as if you are repeating your worst day time and time again. Feeling stagnant or stuck can often have a negative impact on our mental health and can perpetuate a cycle of staying stuck. Once you understand what is happening, you can begin to move forward with your plan to work toward solutions and healing.

There are times when you must look within yourself to determine what is keeping you stuck in a negative cycle. Feeling trapped or stuck can happen for a variety of reasons, and below I have outlined some that I run into frequently.

You have trouble setting appropriate boundaries and enforcing them.

Healthy boundaries allow people to know their limits and express themselves with calm firmness and authority. This can be especially difficult for those who are considered “people pleasers” or those who suffer from anxiety.  They are constantly stuck wanting to make everyone happy and doing things that serve others, yet are unable to effectively get their own needs met.

You lack self-awareness, perspective, or don’t know yourself. 

Lacking self-awareness or perspective could be a large contributor to having those stuck feelings. If you don’t know what you want, what is causing you to feel stagnant, or how unhealthy or toxic situations could be contributing to your life, you are more likely to stay in that way of life.

Self-awareness is essential to growing and flourishing as a human. Being self-aware can be a catalyst for making progress on your better mental health and moving on to a healthier lifestyle. 

Your negative thought patterns are familiar and “safe.”

Many people who are perpetually pessimistic struggle with seeing the positive in the world, and often resent and blame others for their well-being or livelihood. This is often a subconscious pattern to protect themself or keep others away in order to avoid rejection or pain. To avoid confronting themselves, doing the work, or accepting responsibility for their own life, it's easier to utilize their comfort zones as a shield. 

You are responsible for your own happiness, even if you don’t see it

What we often overlook is the amount of control we have over our life. Based on their past skills and experiences, some people feel helpless and as if they lack choices in their decisions. Yes, there are bound to be tough parts and hard work involved, however, there is always a choice which you can accept responsibility for and grow upon.

Feeling stuck or stagnant does not have to be a permanent fixture in your life. By recognizing what situations are causing you to be stuck and that may be damaging to your mental health, you can take steps towards getting yourself unstuck. To learn more about working with me one on one to get unstuck, schedule a free consultation and let's chat about how I can help.